Orange Complaint Letter

An affiliate blog friend sent this to me and it tickled me! Have a read... see if you can make any sense of it!

The text reads something along the lines of:

The new complaints of orange Personal Communications Service Ltd

You know why do you want for complaints of orange personal communications service Ltd? Yes as you say that I need to write for complaints of orange personal communications service L:td.

You know rude words of this complaints. I got complaints of Family planning clinic about holes about Female genitals holes, bum-holes and mouth-suckings of womens and girlfriends. I got complaints of public toilets to information & E Government in black building floor 2 about bleeping alarms, baby kids (bachaas) and misbehaves of womens when abuses. You know big fat flabby womens & girlfriends can be happens on sky satellites T.V – ‘super size sex’, ‘supersize she’ on five-life five-life+1 and ‘The Diet Doctors of Inside & Out’ on Five, Five-Life, Five-Life+1 as you must think it happens as over weight adults & teens, understands. You must not say no-one or nobody there, because it is shamefuls to have sex as I am shyman and two complaints are no goods become evils as you must think it happens to big fat flabby womens & girlfriends as overweight adults & teens, understands. The orange personal communications service ltd have all everythings (information leaflets, information papers, keys, many orange application forms, notepads, many telephones, many differents and sames brands news mobile phones, photocopiers, may pc computers with scanners, printers, flobby disks, compact disks, pens, pencils, bills, papers, envelopes, a4 colour papers, truncation papers, rubbers, rubber-bands, rubber-stamps, staples, peperclips, paper-cutters, scissors, brushes & shovels, hovers, planners and clocks in orange personal communications service ltd shops) The Orange personal communications service Ltd have changed you will be working continues, because all peoples got all mobile phones got £5, £10, £15 & £20 for systems of all mobile phones power units, prices of all mobile phones sim cards, orange cards and leaflets or changed you may be ask builders and architects for orange shops or changed you may be ask lettering orange personal communications service Ltd on shops. Many orange application forms and many differents are asket by all peoples to buy mobile phones, sim cards, orange cards, power units and leaflets to put names, addresses, telephones numbers & mobile phone numbers on orange application forms, many different and sames brand news mobile phones are systems on all sim cards are functions to turn systems off from on to pay £5, £10, £15 & £20 from all peoples got all mobile phones and not happy to pay £5, £10, £15 & £20 for systems on need free, because it is waste of monies from all peoples got all mobile phones got sim cards are functions systems need off need free from carphone warehouse, the link, t-mobile and four mobile shops. You know salaries or wages in orange shops with working mens and womens in Rochdale observers & Expresses and the rest of newspapers fish 4 jobs in fears and different calculations. Information leaflets and information papers are looked by all peoples in orange shops to buy all mobile phones, you know keys and many differents and sames brands news mobile phones are shut in orange shops to protected by thieves, robberies, burglaries, terrorists, thugs, mugs and yobs by police station and prisons. But abusive marrages are used in working womens are seen on sky satellites T.V – ‘Arrange me a marrages’ on BBC Two and ‘How to have sex after marrages’ on five, five-life, five-life +1 but you must think it happens big fat flabby womens & girlfriends as overweight adults and teens become evils, understand, there are 4 pages long written complaints papers are not fib for you. The printer is not working to print long written complaints papers. I am sorry that you will be long times ago for waiting complaints papers are not fib for you.

Akhtar Hussain, 42 years old as 29/10/65

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